Sports! Chips! Booty! by Amy X Neuburg & Men


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Sports Chips Booty

 
Sports! Chips! Booty!
 
 


Big Barbecue

 
Come on Saturday a sunny day / The men'll put the coals on
So honey get your mitts on and be a part of it
It's a never land a party band with everybody dressed down
So honey get your vest on and be a part of it
Take a little time to get in line / It's gonna be a potluck
So honey get your shotgun and be a part of it
Bring a little kid a little dog a little corn a little cake
A little beer a little gun and be a part of it
Shotgun / That's my kind of fun / Shotgun / You're my only one
Shotgun / I won I won I won / Shotgun / Get your hands on one
 
I've got volleyball and tetherball and revolution action
So honey get your mask on and be a part of it
I've got pin the tail and pay the bail and other kinds of hot fun
So honey get your shotgun and be a part of it
Shotgun╔
I'm planning a big barbecue for the weekend
I'm planning for the big end
 
Shotgun / Mitts on / Vest on / Mask on / Shotgun...
 
Crawling slowly out my window
Crawling slowly over the rainbow
Shooting slowly town to country
Shooting slowly 'round the hungry world
 
 


Naked Puppets

 
My teacher took my thinking head and filled it up with air
My teacher tells me what to wear what to wear what to wear
My guru took my empty head and made it self-aware
My guru tells me what to wear what to wear what to wear
It's really quite an active head
It jumbles everything they said
And spins a hundred balls of thread
In swirly black and white and red
Last night I saw Eraserhead / Today I cut my hair
My movie tells me what to wear what to wear what to wear
 
[Repeated in Yiddish, more or less]
 
Mom and Dad and God and You
Here's some scissors and some glue
Doll me up / Don't leave me bare
Oh everybody take a vote and everybody sew a square
Everybody tell these naked puppets what to wear
 
 


Orange County

 
Glassy eyed and trembling / Through the mall I roam
Where's the door I came in / Who'll drive me home
Pockets full of wet rags / Wet rags full of tears
Weaving trails through Macy's and Sears
 
Have a frozen yogurt / Have a Cinnabon
Let yourself get cozy on my fake lawn
Gaze across the courtyard / Open up your heart
There's a lighted fountain / That's Art
 
Down hallways and highways we're rollin' and rollin'
Through Sav-on and Payless and Samurai Bowlin'
And fifty cent tacos and big and tall clothing
And way in the distance my mother is calling
 
My head is gettin' hazy / Something knocks me off my feet
But I guess it's kinda crazy to be walkin' down the street
I can't wait to get back / Toast a Pop-tart / Watch TV
In my ready-made apartment with my nylon ficus tree
 
Here's my piece of sidewalk / Here the sidewalk ends
Here I fall to my death / Good-bye dear friends
This is what I asked for / This is where I be
Here behind my stone wall I'm free
 
Hold the reins on my neck / Lock me in my room
Take away the plastic / Turn on cartoons
Closet full of new shoes / None of them fits right
Alone in Orange County tonight
 
 


I Know You

 
I know about your world (But I don't know about you)
It's on the edge of my world
I saw you out in the street (But I don't know about you)
I saw you on TV
I've been around the world (But I don't know about you)
I am a man of the world
I know a thousand tongues (But I don't know about you)
But I don't about know you
 
Why should I know you / Better if there's no you╔
I can spit at you / That's how close you are
I can shout at you / That's how deaf you are
Here's a cup of sugar / Won't you turn that thing down
I've done nothing to you / Why'd you smash my car
I can smile at you / That's the best I can do
Is it gonna rain / I felt a drop or two
Did you hear that siren / Did you hear that shot
If I do nothing for you then the next one's you
 
I know about your world (But I don't know about you)
I saw you down at the mall
You're gettin' into my head (But I don't know about you)
Why don't I know you at all
 
 


The Shower Song

 
When you sing in the shower
You're the man of the hour
When you shower in the dark
You're a suave and slippery power
In the dark when you sing
You're Domingo / You're The King / You're Bing
 
Singin' in the shower in the dark / You can sound as good as me
Singin' in the shower in the dark / No one has to see your butt
Singin' in the shower in the dark  / Makes you wrinkle like a prune
Singin' in the shower in the dark / Drop the soap and break your neck
Sing / Shower / Dark / Wrinkle like a prune
 
Take a shower when you're stinky
It's all in a manly day
But don't get too wrinkly
For I can't love you that way
Keep your eye on the ball
Grab the handle on the wall / Don't fall
(Masculine / Madness / Dog day / Mystery / Moonlight / Wild way
Hair of steel / Abs of flab / Dry wall / Don't fall)
 
Singin' in the shower in the dark etc. etc. blah blah blah
I had a dream your teeth came loose
You turned the light off / Hit your head and drowned
Sing / Shower / Dark / Drop the soap and break your neck
 
 


Bison Bison Bison

 
Oh the bison on the range are acting kinda strange / Get 'em outta here
Gonna kill me one or two and wrap me up inside 'em and drink a beer
 
Bison bison bison bison bison bison
 
 


Baby

 
(Baby I call your name) Baby is not my name
(I'm talking loud and clear) Into the wrong ear
(Baby I need your hand) It's holding up my head
(Baby I need this dance) If I don't fall down dead
Maybe I will 
Be there maybe 
I won't be there 
Baby I will
Be there maybe 
I won't be there 
Maybe I will 
Be there baby
Don't think for a moment that I don't want to / It's just...
Someday I won't hear you call
Someday I won't hear at all
And someday when I'm chained in bed
Someday when my brain is dead
You'll wish you'd had a taste of it
It's a shit life so get used to it
If you watch me you'll get used to it
 
(Baby I'll pick you up)  
Maybe I'll never wake up
(You've got an attitude) 
I've got a migraine
(Baby I'll take you out) 
Is that a metaphor
(We'll go and paint the town) 
If I get through the door
Maybe I will 
Be there etc... / It's just...
Someday when my hair is gone
Someday with my diapers on
You'll wheel me down the avenue
You'll feed me from a jar of goo
You'll wish you'd had a taste of it
I'm your baby so get used to it
If you watch me you'll get used to it
 
Baby baby / I'm crying / Hold me
 
 


How Many

 
Lookin' down on a parkin' lot I had a revelation
I said: how many little toy cars would fit in my mind
Then the world became an apricot / I called in to the station
I said: how many little fuzz balls would fit in my mind
We go drivin' from left to right
We bounce bounce bounce bounce all night
What's in here is worse than that
A big road map rolled up tight and
How many rats do I have to fool / To explain my little brain
How many monkeys orbiting / To traverse the universe
 
Hangin' off the end of the moon I had a sudden insight
I said: how many little green men would fit in my mind
Wrapped up in my cocoon / Gettin' ready for the big fight
I said: how many ends of the world would fit in my mind
I'd go lovin' everyone in sight
I'd dance dance dance dance all night
But out here I'm on my own / No light no change no phone
I wanna hit the end of space and crash down in the parkin' lot
What's in here is worse than that / This little brain is all I've got and
How many╔
 
 


Tiny Little Bed

 
They poke you here and drug you there
It's enough to drive you crazy
A nice couch here, an electrode there
Is everybody going crazy
A card game here and a mind game there
The whole thing's really crazy
A square meal here and a square hole there
It's really kinda sorta crazy
 
Oh feed me a cup of knowing
Oh feed me a bowl of expertise
Oh feed me a stream of data
Oh make me fatter and fatter and fatter and fatter and fatter
 
A madcap here and a nightcap there
You'd think the world was crazy
An ink blot here and a think tank there
Is everybody going crazy
A white coat here and a tight coat there
I think they think we're crazy
With a cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there
And all the animals are crazy
 
Oh feed me╔
When the mind gets too deep to fathom it all
The guys in white suits come to call
When the mind gets too hot and bursts into flames
The guys in red suits have a ball
When the mind gets too big to fit in your head
The guys will take you out of your big mind
And put you in a tiny little bed


All songs by Amy X Neuburg except Sports Chips Booty and Bison Bison Bison by Amy X Neuburg & Men.

All songs Copyright 1999 spoonerISm music (BMI). All rights reserved. These lyrics were uploaded with the permission of the publisher and the artist.